Two Ways -- Two Choices

You have a choice and so do I.

The choice is where to put your eyes… 

Focus on the circumstance

Or,

On the One behind the dance.

Focus on what seems so certain,

Or,

The God behind the curtain.

 Your focus on the circumstance

 Can keep you stuck and in a trance.

 Focus on God’s power and mercy

Leads you out of pain and curses.

Plainly said, no hocus pocus,

The choice is where you put your focus.   

Author's Note: Feel free to share this poem. Please don't make changes and do note me as the author - Dr. Beth Blevins Cuje.

Do You Have A "Focus Problem?"

Jack had a problem. Around forty-years-old, good-looking, smart, and capable, with a college degree in business, he couldn’t hold down a job. Oh, things would start out just fine. Then Jack would take offence at something or someone and the downward-slide would start. 

What was going on? Jack had a “focus problem.” Growing up, both his mom and dad expected him to be perfect. Jack learned to defend himself by focusing on their faults and taking offense at anything he thought was criticism. 

Now, as an adult, he had a bad habit. Without thinking, he automatically assumed people were critical of him. Then, to feel better about himself, he focused on their flaws and weaknesses and attacked. He knew just how to make somebody feel rotten. 

People who worked with Jack either avoided him or tried to get even. As a result, things at work became chaotic. Finally, though there was no problem with his work, the boss had to let him go. This scenario had played out several times. Still Jack didn’t realize that his negative focus on others was destroying his life. 

Like Jack, you may also have a negative focus. For example, you may live in a “what if… focus” that causes you to worry about everything all the time. Perhaps you focus on each little physical twinge and pain with fear of some serious disease. Or, instead of solving problems, do you focus on not having enough money… time…  energy? 

Your focus determines the direction and quality of your life. Where and what you focus on is where you will put your life-energy. Jack’s fear of criticism and his habit of trying to feel okay by putting others down was ruining his life.

Another way to say this is to talk about the “law of sowing and reaping.” Whether it’s corn or tulips, the seeds you plant determine the crop you get. In the same way, whatever you “put out there” will come back to you. 

You can learn to recognize your focus and choose what you focus on. Choose wisely because whatever you focus on, negative or positive, will come into your life. 

To learn more about choice, I invite you to look at the “Choice-Cube^® 4 Steps for Change” in my book Become the Person You Were Meant to Be. You will find lots of new ideas, and learn some tools to help you both find immediate relief and take the 4 Steps. Most importantly, using the tools and taking the Steps, you can learn to make important changes that will last. 

One More Battle Won – Repeated Anger

My repeated anger becomes a choking rope 

That coils around my body, brain, and soul. 

Swiftly shifting “fact“ to “fact,”

I blot out love, compassion… with corrupt control and

Connect distorted dots into an old distorted whole.

I struggle to make meaning, but collapse.

A double-bind!  

Could I win?   Perhaps. Then, No! I can only lose. 

For deceived, I believe that leaving anger means I lose.

Yet my constant anger also means I stand accused of sin and lose!

For in repeated anger there’s no faith! No healing, gratitude, or hope,

Only the tormenting, whipping-winding rope.

“Who will deliver me from this body of sin and death?”  The answer comes. 

He will! *

Anger recedes. Hope returns. One more battle won

On this daunting journey out of shadow to the Son,

Out of sin to faith and trust in the Three-In-One.                              

*I fully commit to being a doer of the Word, not a hearer only deceiving myself. (James 1:22)

 I will confess my anger and not let hold on to it (and give place to the devil.)  (Ephesians 4:26)

 I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding, 

    but in all my ways I acknowledge him. He will direct my paths.  (Proverbs 3:5-6) 

Dr. Beth Blevins Cuje'  April 8, 2014

Feel free to share this poem. Please do not make any changes and do note me as the author.

One More Battle Won – Repeated Anger

My repeated anger becomes a choking rope 

That coils around my body, brain, and soul. 

Swiftly shifting “fact“ to “fact,”

I blot out love, compassion… with corrupt control and

Connect distorted dots into an old distorted whole.

I struggle to make meaning, but collapse.

A double-bind!  

Could I win?   Perhaps. Then, No! I can only lose. 

For deceived, I believe that leaving anger means I lose.

Yet my constant anger also means I stand accused of sin and lose!

For in repeated anger there’s no faith! No healing, gratitude, or hope,

Only the tormenting, whipping-winding rope.

“Who will deliver me from this body of sin and death?”  The answer comes. 

He will! *

Anger recedes. Hope returns. One more battle won

On this daunting journey out of shadow to the Son,

Out of sin to faith and trust in the Three-In-One.                              

*I fully commit to being a doer of the Word, not a hearer only deceiving myself. (James 1:22)

 I will confess my anger and not let hold on to it (and give place to the devil.)  (Ephesians 4:26)

 I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding, 

but in all my ways I acknowledge him. He will direct my paths.  (Proverbs 3:5-6) 

Author's Note: Feel free to share this poem. Please do not make any changes and do note me as the author: Dr. Beth Blevins Cuje'  April 8, 2014 

What the Placebo Effect Can Teach Us about Our Mental States

People who rely on antidepressants to go on about their daily lives may be in for a bit of a shock at the revelation that follows. The benefits they obtain from the drugs they take may be – quite simply – only the results of the “placebo effect.”

What’s The Placebo Effect? The placebo effect happens when a sugar pill, for example, is substituted for the anticipated medication. In reality patients receive no medication; they just believed they did. And they feel better because they expect to feel better.

Quite the shocker, right? Recently, Irving Kirsch, of the Harvard Medical School and Beth Israel Deaconess, shared the result of his research, which basically makes a case for this very point.

Some Research According to Kirsch, the pharmaceutical companies that produce Prozac, Paxil and Zoloft had to repeat many clinical trials before they could obtain the minimum number of positive results necessary for FDA approval.

The numerous trials that failed to show positive results from the medication simply revealed no significant results. But even more interesting, the clinical trials that turned out positive revealed results that were barely significant.

On this basis, Kirsch suggests that subjects who experienced benefits from these drugs obtained them from the placebo effect rather than from the drugs themselves.

Now, what does this say about the power of our mental states?

The Mind-Body Connection Without a doubt, there is a vital link between our mental states and our physical health. Mental states affect our bodies and vice versa. It’s the typical case of the person allergic to cats who starts sneezing the moment he/she sets foot in the apartment of someone who has a cat.

But what if this person is merely reacting to the thought of a cat hair-filled apartment – in other words, reacting with his mind instead of his body? Just imagine… it’s possible that our fear alone (fear of cat hair or fear of germs) can cause physical symptoms!

In another blog I explained how emotional states send physical messages to the body through proteins called neuropeptides. These bodily messages may be linked to negative or positive attitudes that affect us physically.

But one thing is certain…working through negative attitudes and mental states and choosing to deal with negative feelings in a healthy way may do wonders for us. We may even realize we don’t need the meds anymore.

Want to find out more about a way to treat depression that does not involve popping pills? In my book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be, I set forth tools and steps to help you move into the light and away from depression. You can download its first chapter for FREE. Just go to my homepage and follow the directions.