11 IMPORTANT THINGS YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT EMOTIONS

Whether you are new to learning about and acknowledging your emotions or are a master on the topic, it is always good to remember these 11 facts about your emotions… Remember, you must know your “enemy” to be able to conquer it: 

1. Emotions reflect what we believe about something—the meaning we attach to it. 


2. Emotions give meaning to life. Without emotions, life would be a chore. 


3. Once our emotions are sufficiently stirred up, they can drive our thinking, will, and behaviors. 


4. All emotions have physical sensations that we can recognize if we check our body. 


5. Numbness, an aspect of overwhelm, is just as much a feeling as anger and fear. 


6. Simply admitting to ourselves that we have a PACS-FOGD feeling—I hate that. or I’m afraid or ashamed. or I feel numb.—and labeling that emotion, anger, fear, shame, overwhelm, quiets the amygdala in the emotional center of our brain. 


7. We can acknowledge and accept a negative emotion without acting on it. 


8. Each emotion has a limited amount of emotional “charge.” Once we identify an emotion and use the tools to interrupt and release it, we weaken it and can manage it better. 


9. For Christians, honestly admitting we have a PACS-FOGD feeling can be like repenting. When we are honest and compassionate with ourselves, we can accept God’s forgiveness and trust his power to help us overcome negative emotions. 


10. Emotions that we mindfully and appropriately release do not return! When we mindfully and appropriately let go of an emotion, what we let out does not return. It sometimes seems as if the emotion has come back, but this is not the case. What we are experiencing in such cases is more unreleased feelings pushing up to the surface, now ready to be released. 


11. Remember—if we fail to release negative emotions and mindlessly repeat them, we strengthen them and give them power to control us. We must be careful here and not shut down our feelings. Rather we can learn how to let go of them safely and appropriately (without hurting ourselves or others).

Copyright Dr. Beth Blevins Cujé 2009

Very wise and easy to understand but, where is all this coming from? What’s PACS-FOGD? What do I do with this?

It all comes from the Choice-Cube Method, and is now available for you!

Dr. Beth Cujé, therapist and author of the self-help book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be, gives you the chance to download its first chapter for FREE and discover the best way to live.

Just click here and confirm what the Choice-Cube Method can do for you.

A Look Inside the Minds of a Victim and a Victimizer

The Victim-Victimizer Swing

The victim and the victimizer are actually the same person. Both live inside of us,

because we are both.

Depending on where we are in life, we can become one or the other. In a negative state of mind--in the shadows--we swing between being victims and victimizers. We respond to people and situations either as a victim or a victimizer.

Are You A Victim?

As a victim, we are in the “one down, less than, underdog” position. We give up our healthy self and try to find an identity and safety in submission and weakness. The message is: “I am at someone’s mercy because of my needs and desires. I feel trapped.”

Are You A Victimizer?

As victimizers, we go against others. We take the “one up, better than, top-dog” position, trying to find an identity and safety in domination and control. The message is: “I stay in control and fix, criticize, or dominate others because of my needs and desires, or because I feel threatened.”

Some  Facts About The Victim-Victimizer Swing: 

-      As far as we go one way, say as a victim, we will go equally far the other way, as a victimizer.

-      We send out signals, with or without our awareness, to let others know our position, and others will respond to our signals.

-      Victims seek out victimizers and vice versa. For example, women whose default position is victim usually end up with abusive partners.

What Is Your Default Position?

Though we swing between being both victim and victimizer, one position will be our default, the position where we start and end. Following is a look inside the minds of each:



If you wish to get to the bottom of your Self to find your true identity, the Choice-Cube Method can help…and help you now!

Dr. Beth Cujé, therapist and author of the self-help book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be, gives you the chance to download its first chapter for FREE.

Just click here and confirm what the Choice-Cube Method can do for you.

Did You Know You Are Not Alone in Your Head?

Yes! There is someone else living inside your head with you.

You may think it is you, you may not recognize it as a different “being”, but it is just as strong as the strongest person, and it is against you.

ENTER THE INNER CRITIC      

This “entity” that lives inside your head is called the inner critic, and it is the negative voice in your head.

Can you hear it? Pointing at you or others, even blaming God. Criticizing. Judging. Condemning. “You blew it. It’s all your fault. You looked stupid. You’ll never get it right. Nobody likes you. You’re no good.”

That’s your inner critic talking, the wise, analytical part of you gone sour.

WHERE DID THE INNER CRITIC COME FROM?

The inner critic is an internal audio-video recording of all the negative experiences of your life. These experiences are embedded in your nervous system in pathways that link thoughts, emotions, mental pictures, physical sensations, desires, beliefs, and behaviors.

Let’s say you felt unloved as a child, you may believe the lie that you can never be loved. The inner critic will hit you with this message any time you move toward someone who could really care for you.

CAN YOU OVERCOME THE INNER CRITIC?

The good news is that you can expose, interrupt, and replace these negative messages, this “entity”, with the full truth that you may not be perfect but that someone could love you.

THE WHOLE TRUTH IS YOUR WEAPON

Your experiences may have convinced you that your inner critic is right. We agree. Often, it is partly right. But even if what the inner critic says is 100% true, it is still only PART of the truth, never the WHOLE TRUTH. Half truth is all it takes to make it a lie.

You can interrupt and replace the inner critic’s “killer” messages. You can train yourself to recognize, interrupt, and replace its lies and half-truths with the full truth.

Truth is your weapon against the inner critic. Use it and you can even make the inner critic your teacher! How? Well… when you face the worst it tells you about who you are or could be - choose to be the best instead.

You can only know who you really are when you know who you have chosen NOT to be. 

                                      Copyright Dr. Beth Blevins Cujé 2009

“And how do I learn to do this?”, you ask… “Because this article is not enough”…

You are absolutely right! You fully learn how to live your best life and be happy with the Choice-Cube Method, which is now available for you!

Dr. Beth Cujé, therapist and author of the self- help book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be, gives you the chance to download its first chapter for FREE.

Just click here and confirm what the Choice-Cube Method can do for you.

The 4 Best Emotions You Can Feel… And Should Strive to Achieve

Do you think you are a positive and happy person?

When we are in the light, we feel positive emotions and we are grateful.

Gratitude is the hallmark of PACS emotions. PACS are the 4 positive emotions that change lives. Good news! If you have one positive PACS emotion, all 4 are available.

Following is a list of PACS emotions with many of their expressions. All forms of PACS are linked to gratitude.

Without further ado, we present to you the PACS/Grateful & Curious:

1. PEACE                                This is a deep, mindful sense of peace. Something we all desire. When we enter into this kind of peace, we are filled with  gratitude.  

Expressions: accord, agape, balanced, boundless, calm, composed, content, at ease, faith-filled, flexible, free, fulfilled, harmonious, order, oneness, quiet, serene, still, trusting, whole

2. ACCEPTANCE/LOVE        This is the feeling that accompanies understanding, compassion, forgiving others and accepting forgiveness for ourselves.  

Expressions: appreciative, approving, belonging, beloved, compassionate, considerate, connected, delighted, empathic, identifying with, loving, merciful, open, receptive, secure, sufficiency, trusting, understanding, warm

3. CONFIDENCE/ZEST       This allows us to experience life with keen enjoyment. We take on challenges that make us stretch and grow. We live in the present with confidence and hope for the future.

Expressions: assured, adventuresome, courageous, challenged, cheerful, committed, creative, curious, daring, eager, enduring, enjoying, enthusiastic, faith-filled, hopeful, integrity, interested, joyful, natural, optimistic, playful, positive, resourceful, responsive, righteous, safe, spontaneous, secure, thrilled, trusting, willing, wonder-filled

4. SATISFACTION              Also known as positive pride, this is a healthy sense of worthiness and integrity. Satisfaction can be the emotional reward for a job well done. Filled with gratitude, satisfaction comes from being content with who we are and with our best efforts.  

Expressions: accomplished, balanced, comfortable, dignified, excellence, flexible, fulfilled, honorable, in-order, overcoming, personal best, playful, positive pride, righteous, truthful, tuned in, worthy

Three interesting facts about these positive emotions are: first, you will always feel gratitude; second, if you feel any of them you will discover that you feel all four; and third, being in PACS is as much physical as it is emotional, because these emotions affect your whole body.         

Copyright Dr. Beth Blevins Cujé 2009

But “Where does this concept of PACS come from!?” you ask.

Well… from the Choice-Cube Method.

And the good news is that this method is now available for you!

Dr. Beth Cujé, therapist and author of the book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be, gives you the chance to download its first chapter for FREE. Just click here and get an idea of what the Choice-Cube Method can do for you.

The 8 Emotions You Would Do Well To Let Go Of Right Away

Yes indeed. The best things in life come in small packages! For example, the little package of 4 positive emotions--PACS (peace, acceptance, confidence, satisfaction)--can boost your life.

But thereare 8 negative emotions--PACS-FOGD-- that can sink it. These are the 8 negative PACS-FOGD emotions you would do well to let go of right away. PACS-FOGD emotions have many expressions that vary in intensity and can overwhelm the positive ones. Take a look.

1. Pride (negative) We compare ourselves to others to feel better or superior to them. This is the flip side of shame. We try to be superior to others to avoid feeling shame.  

Expressions of Pride (negative): arrogant, better-than, boastful, cold, condescending, contemptuous, critical, disdaining, judgmental, one-up, perfectionist, pitying, well-positioned, prejudiced, self righteous, self-satisfied, shameless, stiff-backed, superior, uncompromising, vain

2. Anger  Unless we acknowledge and manage it well, it can easily create a downward spiral from offended to hurt to resentful to a pervasive bitter angry judgment that keeps us desperately stuck in the shadows.

Expressions of Anger: annoyed, argumentative, bitter, bloodlust, cold, cruel, demanding, destructive, distempered, despising, frustrated, grudge-holding, hateful, ill-humored, impatient, judgmental, murderous, merciless, oppositional, outraged, persecuting, pouting, rageful, rebellious, resentful, resistant, shameful, spiteful, stubborn, sullen, vengeful, vicious, violent, willful

3. Craving/Lust   It is driven by our desire to have or control a person, thing, or process. It can produce behaviors that seem effective but are truly damaging.

Expressions of Craving/Lust: ambitious, busyness, compulsive, controlling, covetous, demanding, devious, devouring, envious, exploitative, fixated, grasping, greedy, if only I could, longing, lustful, miserly, never satisfied, obsessed, feeling pain, panting, perfectionist, position, power-hungry, possessive, predatory, pulled, ravenous, reckless, selfish, shameless, starved, urgent, vengeful, yearning

4. Shame  It is self-conscious embarrassment, and hurts. Some people prefer to endure terrible consequences--depression, abuse, self-loathing, suicide,-- instead of facing their shame.

Expressions of Shame: a mistake, crushed, defiled, deflated, defective, deformed, dirty, embarrassment, evil, flawed, flushed/hot, humiliated, inadequate, imperfect, looking cheap/foolish/silly, no-good, pain, put-down, pitiful, red-faced, ridiculous, self-conscious, small, tortured, unsuitable, unfit, unlovable, wrong, worthless

5. Fear  It feeds on uncertainty and unpredictability. We feel fear when we can’t solve a problem, or feel uncertainty and doubt. Fear is the only emotion that focuses on the future.

Expressions of Fear: afraid, anxious, avoiding, cautious, controlling, cowardly, distrustful, fleeing, frantic, guilty, hesitant, hiding, horror, hysterical, inhibited, insecure, mistrusting, nervous, out of control, panic, paralysis, paranoid, shy, suspicious, terror, tormented, threatened, trapped, uncertain, uneasy, unprotected, worried

6.Overwhelm   It has 2 expressions. One: we “split off” from all feelings and become numb. Two: we feel wired, agitated, panicky, or hysterical.

Expressions of Overwhelm: apathetic, bored, bewildered, chaos, collapsed, crazy, confused, defeated, depressed, detached, discouraged, disillusioned, doomed, double-minded, exhausted, failure, forgetfulness, give up, give in, helpless, hopeless, horror, hysterical, learned helplessness, impotent, isolated, indecisive, indifferent, invisible, lazy, leaden, lethargic, lifeless, loser, negative, no control, numb, overwhelmed, paralyzed, powerless, preoccupied, resigned, shocked, stunned, spacey, stuck, suicidal, tired, trapped, unfocused, useless, why try?, worthless

7. Grief   It is simply a part of life. We all sustain losses that bring us grief. It becomes a problem when we get stuck in it or are afraid to feel it for fear of drowning in it. We must release it well otherwise we strengthen it.

Expressions of Grief: abandoned, abused, agonizing, anguished, bereft, betrayed, brokenhearted, cheated, despairing, disappointed, feeling loss, forgotten, gloomy, guilty, heartsick, hurt, ignored, inadequate, irrelevant, left out, miserable, misunderstood, neglected, self-pitying, regretting, rejected, remorseful, sad, sorrowful, repentant, tearful, unimportant, unlucky, unloved, unwanted, wounded

8. Disgust  It is feeling turned off, repelled, or sickened by something.

Expressions: disgusted, distaste, foul, nasty, nauseated, offensive, putrid, repelled, repugnant, revulsion, sickened, vile, “yuck”

“But I’ve been drowning in these emotions for years and don’t know how to get out of them,” you say?

The positive news is that you can stop drowning! A new way of dealing with negative emotions is available for you.  Now!  Copyright Dr. Beth Blevins Cujé 2009