Dr. Beth shares insights about
relationships, stress, and more.
I was fascinated to hear Herman Cain, Republican candidate for President, clearly state that he refuses to be a victim. Would you agree that the opposite of a victim is a victimizer? It’s true. And everyone is capable of becoming both a victim and a victimizer.
But a third option exists. We always have the choice to respond to people and situations as victims, victimizers, or as problem-solvers looking for a win-win solution.
One of Scarlett O’Hara’s most memorable quotes is, “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” Now, when you’re feeling upset, agitated, flustered or frustrated, it might seem sensible to wait a day or two before dealing with your problems…but is it, really?
Everyone is born wanting to avoid pain and suffering. When you get burned you pull your hand back, don’t you? It's only human to want to avoid pain. And this is the appropriate way of dealing with this type of pain.
The problem arises when we deal with pain and suffering in inappropriate ways. Here are four inappropriate ways we try to avoid issues. Take a look.
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BBIE’S STORY Debbie recalls the day she met her husband. It was the typical scene of gazes meeting across a crowded room. They spoke. They danced. He walked her home. They shared a brief kiss. But then they hugged. And that was what did it for her. She knew right then and there he was the man for her. A few years later they married.
What happened that first night? Love at first sight? Magic? Ah, wouldn’t it be romantic, but no. Most likely, their romance was influenced by a surge of oxytocin – a hormone that passionate physical touch and closeness releases in the brain.
“addicted to love”. And love is an emotion.Our bodies can become addicted to emotions
The latest in brain research shows that every emotion we feel causes our bodies to release neuropeptides, in other words, proteins that are responsible for regulating our health, mood and behavior.
Todd and Claire are fighting. He’s angry... furious. He can’t seem to make Claire understand how her complaints hurt him. Claire is bewildered. She did not complain. She simply mentioned to Todd how important it was to finish painting the bathroom.
What’s going on here?
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