Go Down The Middle
/Stay out of the Victim-Victimizer Swing! Go "Down the Middle" instead.
And what, you may ask, does that mean? It's like this. In any difficult situation,
we have three choices. Two are defensive. One, Go Down the Middle," helps us grow.
Take a look.
Choice # 1: I defend myself as a victim when I inappropriately try to avoid difficulties.
For example: "Please don't hurt me. I'm afraid to know the truth. If I make nice everything will be okay."
Choice #2: I defend myself as a victimizer when I inappropriately try to control difficulties.
For example: "I refuse to discuss it! It's all your fault. I'm always right. Do it my way."
Choice #3: I grow when I "go down the middle" and seek the truth with compassion
for myself and others. I am willing to set healthy boundaries and speak the truth with kindness.
For example: "We have a problem. I want to work it out. Help me to understand where you are coming from."
This kind of honesty and vulnerability often means short-term pain but it also holds the seeds for long-term gain and growth.
"Down the middle". . . not always easy to do, but so worth it.
And what, you may ask, does that mean? It's like this. In any difficult situation,
we have three choices. Two are defensive. One, Go Down the Middle," helps us grow.
Take a look.
Choice # 1: I defend myself as a victim when I inappropriately try to avoid difficulties.
For example: "Please don't hurt me. I'm afraid to know the truth. If I make nice everything will be okay."
Choice #2: I defend myself as a victimizer when I inappropriately try to control difficulties.
For example: "I refuse to discuss it! It's all your fault. I'm always right. Do it my way."
Choice #3: I grow when I "go down the middle" and seek the truth with compassion
for myself and others. I am willing to set healthy boundaries and speak the truth with kindness.
For example: "We have a problem. I want to work it out. Help me to understand where you are coming from."
This kind of honesty and vulnerability often means short-term pain but it also holds the seeds for long-term gain and growth.
"Down the middle". . . not always easy to do, but so worth it.
