Enough Lying and Dissimulating

Enough lying and dissimulating. This is a time for honesty and integrity.

There's talk of Democrats and liberals,Republicans and conservatives, Muslims and Christians. We don'tneed labels. We need compassionate men and women of integrity who are not afraid to speak the truth and stand on it.

I won't discuss the Choice-Cube Method here. But I will say that the thrust of
the method is to train oneself to:
    * take responsibility for one's part
            in the problem.
    * seek truth with compassion for oneself
            and others.
    * stay open, curious, flexible and balanced.

Not easy tasks, but certainly worthy goals. Today, the alternatives are frightening.

Let's Define Addictions

Let's define addictions. I define an addiction as anything I do
repeatedly that interferes with my life. For example, I spend
money I don't have to buy things I don't need. Or, instead of
doing my homework I get high.

Personally, I have to watch myself. I could easily develop an
addiction to spending time on the computer when I have a million
other things I need to do. What about you? I'd love to discuss it.

So You Want To Make Some Changes

       So you want to make some changes. 

        Are you clear about what you want

        to change and  how you prefer to be. 

        For example,
       "I want to stop biting  my fingernails."
        Or, "I want to cut back on smoking." 

 

        Do you have a clear picture in your mind

        of yourself when you stop biting or smoke less?
     
         Can you imagine what emotions you will have
         when you see longer healthy nails?
         When  you say "No!" to that cigarette? 

 

         And can you imagine what how your body will feel 
         each time you have a victory?

         Now the work begins. It starts with
         your ability to stay focused on your goal.
         I call this "sustained focus." 

          In my next blog, I'll discuss how to create
          "sustained focus." In the meantime, think
          about what you want, how it will look,
          what emotion you will feel, and how your
          body will feel when you succeed. 

          Remember this. Whatever you focus on
          will get you more of the same.

Psychological Discomfort

Here's a question for you. How willing are you to
endure discomfort in order to grow and improve?

Many of us watch our diet, get enough sleep, or
workout everyday in order to look and feel better.
Are we willing to make the same effort in order
to grow and improve psychologically?

Improving and growing psychologically includes
successfully managing: stress, negative emotions,
unreal or painful thoughts and pictures in our mind,
and desires that hurt us or others.

Here's a little scale to help us measure how willing
we are to endure psychological discomfort. Most of
us will fall somewhere between zero - NO and 5 - YES. 

Zero (0) = "NO! I'm not at all willing to be inconven-
                       ienced or feel bad in order to grow
                       psychologically."
Five (5) = "YES, I'm totally willing to be inconven-
                       ienced or feel bad in order to grow
                       psychologically."

                 HOW DO YOU RATE YOURSELF?
                  NO     0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5   YES

This is simple idea, a simple scale, and a simple
question. But exposing your willingness to tolerate
discomfort in order to grow psychologically could
reveal a lot. It's worth a thought or two. You
might even change your life.

You Too Can Rewire Your Brain

           
                Become a "rewired overcomer"---
                   the person you were meant to be

        Rewire the lighting in your dining room,
        rewire your brain? They're similar. How?
        It all starts with our will, mind, emotions,
        and body. These are our inward reactions. 
        I call them our *"Cubi".

 

        Awareness and good management of our 'Cubi"

        is critical if we want to make changes.In fact,

        conscious rewiring always starts with our will.

        First, we decide what we want to change/rewire:

        the lighting in our dining room, our smoking addic-
        tion, our fear of having a baby. 

 

       Then we move on to get a clear and realistic
       picture in our mind of how the new lighting
       looks, what happens when we no longer 
       smoke, how having a baby changes our life. 

 

        Now we are ready to check in with our
        emotions. This is critical. If negative emo-
        tions are attached to our picture, we will
        be in conflict.      

      

        Ah conflict! We might as well stop the
        process and go back to the drawing board.
        Before we can go any further, we need to
        work through the conflict. Consider the 
        Choice-Cube Method and **"crossing the bridge".

         But let's say we have nothing by positive
         emotions, joy, excitement, hope, sat-
         isfaction. We're not in conflict. Now 
         we are ready to use our body to take
         action.

 

        We do something positive. Get a hammer, 
           crush that cigarette and get  a plan, talk things

           over with our spouse and choose a baby's name.

           We start small. *The important thing is to recognize

           conflict, manage it, and move on.  
         
         Rewiring has begun. We will have to repeat
         this "will, mind, emotions, and body" process.
         But we stay focused. Even though we confront
         and manage conflict, we focus on, and enjoy, 
         the fruit of our positive actions.

         Conflict diminishes; joy; satisfaction  increases. And with repetition, we  become  "rewired overcomers"---the person we were meant to be.
                      
       *  See my website www.choicecube.com 

     **  Research shows that acting "as if" is another  powerful way  to rewire our brain. However,  even acting "as if", requires that we
manage the reactions of our body, emotions, mind, and will---our "Cubi."