Our Journey from Shadow to Light

       From Victim-Victimizer through Psychologically Healthy

                                                 to Spiritually Awake

        We are all on a life-time journey from shadow to light. This journey challenges us daily,

        even moment-to-moment, to become the best of who we are---the person

        we were meant to be.

       First, we stop reacting to life as victims or victimizers. As victims we see others

       as trying to fix, hurt, or control us. As victimizers, we seek to fix, hurt, or control others.

      Often we swing between the two. 

      Next, we become psychologically healthy. We stop blaming or trying to control

     others. Instead, we take full responsibility for what we think, feel, and do. We see truth and compassion as the way

    
      to  solve our problems. And we change the one

      person we can change, ourselves!

  

     Finally, we recognize that we are more than
     body, emotions, thoughts, and desires. We 
     awaken spiritually and find God, the "Divine",

     or our Higher Power.       

 

     On our journey, we work through unresolved
     life issues that keep us reacting as victims,
     or victimizers, stuck in the shadows. We
     become increasingly psychologically healthy
     and empowered. And as we seek God, we
     awaken spiritually. Increasingly, we live in

     the light and become the person we were meant to be.

Power to Live Longer?

          How you live your life may give you power
          to live longer. Do you tend to be: Active,
          emotionally calm, organized? Or do you tend
          to be:  Anxious, angry, fearful?

          Emotional stability and a wisely active life-
          style "can reduce health risks, increase life
          satisfaction and significantly extend life." 
          suggests The Baltimore Longitudinal
          Study on Aging.

          This study by the National Institute of Aging
          in Baltimore, Maryland was based on 50 years
          of assessing the personality traits of 2,359
          generally healthy participants between the 
          ages of 17 and 98.

         The study found that the most signif-
         icant predictors of death were traits
         of emotional instability such as: anger,
         depression, feelings of vulnerability,
         and anxiety. 

        According to Dr. Antonio Terracciano, lead

       study author, these findings add to the growing

       reseach indicating that,  "enduring cognitive,

       emotional and behavioral tendencies (personality

        traits) have significant influence on health and longevity." 

          You have choice. You can change. And it
          seems that how you choose and change can 
          give you power to live longer with greater
          satisfaction.      

             

 

 

 

Focus Hocus-Pocus

I see a shadow and whisper to a friend, "A mugger!" My friend focuses on the same shadow and knows it’s just a shadow. Why are our experiences so different? Because of our past experiences. My past programs determine , what I focus on and the meaning I give to it.The same is true for you.

Say I am programmed to be a victim. I am likely to focus on parts of a situation that make me feel like a victim. For example, if I’m turned down for a job I may blame myself, "I talked too much. I shouldn't have worn the green skirt. It was too short. I always fail. What’s wrong with me?"

Or I may take a victimizer position and blame the interviewers, "They didn’t give me a chance. They don’t like the color of my skin. It’s not fair. They're jerks anyway."

Whenever things don’t go my way, it's likely that my focus and reactions will be the same in the present as they were inthe past. I will think, feel, and do the same things I've always thought, felt, and done. And that’s the end of it. I won't ask myself if my reactions are appropriate or helpful. Magically—focus hocus-pocus---I don’t have to think any further.  

But I have choice! Instead of doing the same old thing one more time, I can look for the truth of why I failed to get the job, make the baseball team, or win the beauty contest. I can open my focus, learn from the experience, and do something different the next time. 

The Choice-Cube Method, an innovative approach to self-help offers simple tools and four key steps to help you stay aware of your reactions and do something different. Using the method, you can train yourself to stay aware of a negative focus and unhelpful reactions. Then instead of getting stuck repeatimg the same old things one more time, you can open your mind to options and possibilites. Using the method gives you choice and creates change.

What about you? How much choice do have? How eager are you to know the truth? If you feel stuck,don’t be disheartened.The Choice-Cube®Method can help you understand and manage your focus and reactions. Dr. Beth Cujé, therapist and author of the book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be, is giving you the opportunity to download the first chapter of the book for FREE. Just click here and see what the Choice-Cube Method® can do for you today.